


You Say Things With Your Mouth, Cobwebs and Flies Come Out.

by Heavydirtys0ul



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: And by drugs I mean weed, Drug Use, M/M, Mute!Tyler, Spoilers, Suicide, and I guess drug abuse cos one of them kills themselves, drug dealer! Josh, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:25:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5550740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavydirtys0ul/pseuds/Heavydirtys0ul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler is good at saying he's ok.<br/>When was the last time he told the truth?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lovely

Tyler’s scared. He’s shaking and stammering and backing away from the shadows of this tall, brutish football players who are heaving with steroids and anger whilst towering over him. “Well, it’s the fairy,” He doesn’t respond, his throat is so tight and tied up and he hasn’t spoken since the accident anyway. He’s the fairy. Not exactly, he never came out as gay and he certainly couldn’t fly, but he was the shy, reserved kid who was still hitting puberty at seventeen and struggling with life every day.

He’s cornered by these three, who have their enourmous fists clenched and ready to rain down on his small, huddled figure. Tyler knew that somewhere along the lines, he had hit the pavement, lean body curled against the cold brick wall. Soft eyes look pleadingly up but were only met by laughter. As the sun breached the sky, hitting it’s 3 O’Clock mark, the sky turned from cloudy to a soft cerulean blue, and a cough sounded behind the three.

“I would hate coach to find out what you bought off me last week, that would certainly get you kicked off the team,” It was a gentle voice, but at the same time flushed with demand and anger. The brutish boys turned, met the figure, before looking down at the small “Fairy,” and turning away, suddenly uninterested at Tyler’s quivering figure. He thinks he hears a few muttered curses as the three walk around the newcomer.

He’s not as tall as Tyler, but his commanding presence distracts the other from this. His hair is a soft mussed mess of crimson, dark and dangerous like the fire that plays in his hazel eyes. “I’m Josh,” He sits next to the small boy “Want some weed, you look a bit shaky so you can have it free, man they weren’t playing fair, look at you, you’re tiny,” It seems strange, but Tyler was thin, slender, a light bit of muscle but he couldn’t hold off anyone. Even if size wise Josh was the “Tiny” one, Tyler definitely looked the part.

The small boy wants to decline the offer of weed, but as he fumbles with his notebook he comes to the conclusion he doesn’t want to be at home, and he certainly doesn’t want to be at school. ‘Sure,’ He scribbles eventually ‘But I’ve never done it before,’ He commends Josh for not interrogating him on his lack of ability to form words, and simply soaks in the comfort the redhead offers in his own way. The brunette follows the other with uncanny trust, all the way back to his house.

The two sit on Batman bedsheets whilst Josh talks him through it. Tyler feels like a child, until there’s smoke in his lungs and he’s coughing up all the air he’s ever passed through his body. His throat feels clear and he loves it, the knots and ties unravel with every inhale he manages, his voice being slowly released from its chained box. And Josh smiles silently, but says nothing as the young man begins to speak to the ends of the Universe about nothing at all, random facts and tidbits that he’s never spoken before falling out. Like a boulder holding back a stream being dislodged he spoke, his voice soft and scratched and unused. But beautiful, Josh thinks between a haze of broken thoughts and sweet smelling smoke.

There’s laughing and giggling and for the first time, Tyler thinks he might have someone in his life who can understand him. As Josh sits back and tells stories through words and pain and sleep. Tyler texts his mother, who’s probably drinking herself out of a hangover, that he’s fine and staying at a friends. She doesn’t reply, he’s not worried.

“You’re cute,” The elder mutters, nuzzling the neck of his new friend as if they’ve been in love forever. “You’re very cute,” There’s a giggle from his companion as he hums quietly and brushes their lips together. “Does your voice sound so nice when you moan?” Tyler would have no idea how to react if his thoughts were in working order. Instead he just nibbles lightly at the other’s lip and shrugs.

“Perhaps, I wouldn’t know,” And the confirmation that the other is sweet, innocent and untouched just makes Josh frustrated, in every way. He doesn’t want to take that away, even when he’s high he has some morals, he wants him to stay untouched. Untouched until he’s sober enough not to dirty the other. But he kisses Tyler with a passionate amount of energy, his hand resting on his thigh as their lips move together. Then he moves to suck lightly at the younger’s neck, bruising the skin with little nibbles until a soft whimper tumbled from Tyler’s mouth. It’s when their crotches accidentally brush together that the pixie boy finally moans, and Josh decides that this is enough.

But he hears that moans in his ears all night in his dreams when they fall asleep intertwined.


	2. Fake You Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Our brains are sick but that's okay,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's smut. It's not very detailed, because I don't think I've ever wrote detailed smut but have it anyway. Also thanks for the nice comments. Hope everyone has a nice New Year's, I'll be uploading the last chapter on New Year's day :)

Tyler will insist to the ends of the earth that he is ok when Josh asks, but anyone with eyes or common sense (hopefully in conjunction to each other) could see when the mute boy was not. In fact it seemed to be anytime he was on the Earth and not the whispery clouds of sweet smelling smoke that he was in some form of deep trance. Slowly, the vermillion haired boy realised his companion depended on drugs to keep him out of his head, awake instead of a coma of self-mutilation. Josh insisted on helping him, but the more he begged the further he would be pushed away. Tyler never spoke unless he were high, but there was a feeling of a barrier coming up between them.

“What’s your problem?” The crimson haired boy asked rather snappily one evening, there was a joint alight and currently untouched by either of their lips. He was met only by a stone wall and a hand snatching the joint from his hands. “Ty, this is serious, I need you to talk to me…or write…just give me something,” He only gets a dark look off the other, as if to say ‘Something? I’m giving you everything,’ Josh falls silent and watches the end of the joint burn blindingly, like the spirit of his friend.

There’s a long silence before Tyler forgets what it is like to be insecure, his dark eyes opening with his soft lips parted for another draught. “Tyler please,” He sighs and hands Josh the blunt, lying back with his long legs unfolded across the bed, holding out his hand for the redhead to take, lying next to him on his stomach, crimson strands brushing the pale skin of his lover. “Can you talk to me about it, or write about it, I just need to know…i-if you even love me anymore,” What catches Tyler off-guard is how scared Josh sounds, it’s the first time he’s heard fear in that brave voice.

“Of c-course I love you,” He mutters, looking up at the other from where he was lying on his back, delicate features pulled into a frown “Don’t say th-things like that,” He uses his voice every night just like this, when he’s had enough to wonder only what insecurity is, and not experience it’s painful wrath. As the two stare at each other for a moment, he finally speaks again “I’ve j-just been thinking a l-lot,” There’s more stuttering involved than he’s able to admit, cheeks darkening. Tyler goes silent and burrows his face against Josh’s arm, remembering how much he hated the sound of his own voice. “I don’t like it either,”

Josh nuzzles him and drains the blunt, discarding the ashes left to dust his fingertips as he sits up and all but drags the other onto his lap. Tyler’s taller, thinner and folds his legs easily around the other’s waist, burying his face in the other’s neck. “I love you,” The untainted look of innocence the Tyler gives makes Josh a little teary. He’s never had the guts to taint him, only make him better, but Josh can’t fix Tyler, only give him the hope to do so.

They kiss, and it’s sweet and gentle, with Josh’s hands holding Tyler as if trying desperately to hold him together. There’s only so much longer, perhaps they both realise that they are a lost cause, one of them will blow up like the time bombs that they are. The debris of one explosion, will only take out the other person; It’s been a few months, but this is more than lust. Or love in a form that neither were familiar with. Tyler is silent, but he nibbles shyly at Josh’s lips like he’s trying to ask a question. His answer comes in the form of Josh’s moan.

Perhaps this was the least intelligent thing they could have conjured up between them, one day they will no longer have each other, this unhealthy relationship stemmed from drugs and sympathy, deadly in the best disguise. Tyler, most of all, would suffer, as he believed he needed love to fix him, when Josh knew he was perfectly capable of doing that himself. Perhaps the best thing was to leave him be (As if he wouldn’t detonate and explode the moment he left). Tyler had been on the bring of destruction when he met Josh, but now his redheaded companion gave him the time he needed to fix himself properly, someone to use as a crutch.

They kiss, and it’s desperate now, it’s frantic, full of “thank you’s” and “I love you,” before Josh is lying back with crimson hair like a blaze against the white cotton pillows. Tyler is kissing him like he’s the air in his lungs, his hands tight in Josh’s shirt, pulling, holding. An anchor. There’s a mumble from the addict, but it’s caught in his lovers lips, it’s not until he feels Tyler’s hard on poking his thigh that he pulls away for actual air and mutters softly “We shouldn’t…” He’s scared of breaking him, just as he’s watching the other repair himself.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t,” Is the simple response, before Josh can even react he’s lost his shirt and there’s teeth on his chest. The weed has slowed down the mechanisms of his brain and his pliable body can only shudder under the lustful touches. Tyler runs his tongue over Josh’s chest, tracing the tattoo there as if it’s all he’s ever wanted to do (Perhaps it is, he can’t remember).

They’ve both lost their shirts before the younger tilts his head in realisation that this was actually happening, he gasps and his eyes shoot open, the two maintain eye contact for a good minute or so, allowing the situation to sit in. Then Tyler sinks further down the bed (maybe to pray, maybe to get his mouth on him, maybe both) Josh watches and then finally the other makes his decision and wraps his mouth around the tip of the crimson haired boy’s cock, listening to the throaty moan (It’s his new favourite sound, he decides quickly). He forgets that later he’ll cry silently into his pillow with ‘forgive me father, for I have sinned’ on his tongue, as if every moment since he was born hadn’t been one sin after another.

It’s the first time they can note that they’ve never thought about insecurities, even as the clock hits 9PM and they’re moaning each other’s names against their hot and salty skin. As their holding each other at 10 with quiet huffs of air escaping their shaking body whilst “Did that really happen?” ricocheted around their heads. They’ll remember for the rest of their lives the feel of hands on hands and skin, nails scratching at inked skin and the taste of blood whilst biting their lips far too hard. Or maybe they’ll just remember forever with each other.


	3. Ode To Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I never imagined you dead,"

Josh knew what loneliness was. Oh a bitter pill to swallow, a numbing sensation, and the fucking agony that thrummed in the dark desires of man. Sickness, his old friend, ripped at his insides, like parasites inside of him; eating their way through his heart. Now all that remained was the carbon skeleton he was made from, drained of its stardust and coated in a shield of ice that froze all emotion, all want of love. All that he could contain was pain; like a sociopath, oh if only he could’ve been blessed with a lack of emotions.

The redhead’s hair was faded, the roots a sullen dark brown (like Tyler’s had been), the roots that had been grasped at for months in frustration had been yanked at months before that in lust. ‘I never imagined you…dead,’ He never needed to, his living, loving Tyler. His silent lover. Every sentence that had contained love and that boy’s name now contained self-hatred and self-pity with a double shot through the heart. Had been so alive. What even was life with no-one to love?

“911 what’s your emergency?”

“My friend! Oh fuck…please…he’s…I think he’s…”

“Sir I need you to calm down, where are you?”

Calm, what was calm in this situation? Holding his lover’s bleeding body; Tyler was always fragile, with his slender form and thin bones. Now all he was was white and red, a picture of death and a life that was never really lived. There was no calm in pain, and both of them had only felt agony that night. There was no calm in a sliced up veins and two bottles of pills; Two, how desperate had he been to double check the job had been done right? Had Josh been that bad of a lover?

His suicide note was left atop the drawer; he just kept saying he loved Josh, that he saved him. That the only thing he would miss is getting high, getting off and being in love. Turns out the bullying was worse than Josh had thought, turns out it extended to Tyler’s home life, turns out that Josh had been too blind to see the signs, that he had trusted his love to tell him. Another year they would’ve been far away.

A year too late.

“Time of death…” No no no. This was not how it was supposed to end. They were gonna go to Vegas, enjoy life, spend forever in the suburbs with cigarettes and chocolate kisses. Tyler wanted to work in a cute, small café, Josh wanted to open a music store. Either way now they were alone and dreamless. Or perhaps Tyler was a dream in himself; a mirage of what the drummer could’ve have but shouldn’t have.

He sat alone in a church, surrounded by white flowers for the innocent of a lover that he had corrupted; his hands had turned the white of those petals red. He remembered the night so clearly that they were first together in a seriously intimate form. For one, they were both sober, and that was an achievement; not a blunt not a bottle had passed their lips but they were kissing. And Tyler was making those pretty sounds he always made when he was hot and flustered. They weren’t just fucking around, not that their relationship consisted of only that, but this felt so serious. It felt like signing the deal to a commitment heavier than marriage.

Josh had had sex before, too him it was not the biggest deal. But sex with Tyler was a whole other thing. Because it wasn’t sex. It was putting his heart on a table and telling the other to store it away carefully so it didn’t get broken; trusting him to keep it beating every day.

Look what is done when you offer your heart to someone and tell them to sustain it, how foolish it was to give a broken heart to a broken boy and hope he could fix it.

It’s loneliness first. His wrist has a line, and then there’s two; his blood runs into alcohol and his brain is just smoke signals on a cloudy hill. There’s nothing of Josh for weeks. At the funeral, he’s sober, he stands up on the lectern because the priest asks him too, because it’s in Tyler’s will, and he tells the entire service everything that is in the will that the boy’s parents are trying to hide. “Tyler was being bullied, he was gay and his parents were abusing him,” Josh stays for the rest of the service, Tyler’s parents do not.

“You saved me Josh, two years ago I was ready to die, you made the extra two years worth it, but you’re a diamond in the rough, and I’m a noose around your neck, strangling you…no more,”

Tyler, my love, you were the air that I breathed, and now I’m inhaling the poison without you, slowly heading to my death.

That night, Josh wrote a suicide note of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be writing an alternate ending, as requested. Thanks for reading though, my first story on AO3 :)


	4. We Don't Believe What's On TV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I used to say I wanna die before I'm old, but because of you I might think twice,"

When Josh was holding Tyler in his arms, he felt the world around him blur like pools of water on the surface of a world that was yet to be rediscovered. “Just hold on for me,” The words are knives, piercing words, as his begs and pleads and screams, holding his lover in his arms. His eyes are brutally torn by saline and anguish as he holds a life force that he can feel slipping away. “You can’t leave me here, I love you,” Tyler’s eyes are trying to roll back, the grin on his arms weakening as he hears sirens call. “It’s ok, it’s all going to be ok,”  
“I love you,”  
\--  
When Tyler wakes up, he can feel tubes all around him, like a monster holding him down; immediately he panics, tears springing as he tries to move out of the grasps of these tentacles. “Hey, hey, it’s ok,” That soft voice, those beautiful eyes, that ridiculous crimson hair. He knew this man, knew the comfort he brought as he sinks against the bed. “I was so worried Tyler, I thought…I thought I’d lost you,” A whimper escapes the vermillion haired boy as he leans to kiss the chapped, bruised lips of his lover “The suicide note has been given to the police, your parents were arrested this morning…why didn’t you tell me Ty? We could’ve sorted this out,” There isn’t disappointment in his voice, Josh only knew relief when he saw those shining eyes open.   
“I love you too,”  
\--  
Tyler comes home with Josh the next day, looking brighter than ever as they both make it through Josh’s front door. Mrs Dun, who smiles at them and gives Tyler a warmer hug than his own mother could have mustered, welcomes them back with pizza and confectionary in bulk. “This can’t be healthy,” The redhead laughs, tossing candy wrappers back and forth. Mostly, his eyes do not leave Tyler, afraid if he looks away for too long, the boy may disappear from his grasp. They can’t stop saying ‘I love you,’ in their words, in their actions. In the way their lips touch and their hands intertwined. They kiss a lot, when Josh’s mother leaves the house too themselves, they don’t fuck; they undress each other with shaky fingertips and lie intertwined with their bodies pressed against each other under the covers. They were so desperate to feel, to remind each other they were alive. Josh’s lips linger on Tyler’s heartbeat, and then they fall asleep like that.  
\--  
For the next few days, Tyler will catch Josh staring at him with this look in his eyes; this disbelief, sometimes the redhead will excuse himself with a cracking voice and Tyler, wretched, could only remind himself that he had caused this paranoia in his lover; had instilled the fear of his own death. “I’m not gonna try it again, Josh, I love you, you are enough to keep me alive, I know that now, the only reason I fought was to hear your voice,” Josh sniffled and nuzzled him. “A piece of me died that die, this voice at the back of my head, it went, it died, that insecurity, that self hatred, died when I woke up with your hand in mine,”  
Josh had defeated Tyler’s demons, had released his voice; the voice he hadn’t used for years. It had been released when the younger handed over a bag of weed, now it was held here forever when he handed over his heart. Perhaps Josh had been made to give Tyler his voice; holding it in his pocket this entire time so when he saw that honey eyed boy he knew, simply knew with all the clairvoyance of the world that he was meant to save this boy. And be saved by him.  
Neither of them sat in silence any longer, they exchanged a joint but they didn’t need to depend on it for a smile. The lines on their wrists stopped multiplying, dissolved into the ghosts of the past; now that they had each other, why keep around old addictions?   
\--  
At school, they excelled more, Josh always defended Tyler, Tyler always held the key to his happiness in his heart; now they no longer needed to dance around the possibilities of death. No one bothered the frail young boy, because the manipulations of a drug dealer are little more terrifying than a one-time kick. They were happy. They got to see their dreams in the stardust of their veins; and a heart that continued to beat.


End file.
